Dating in forty
Also, since you’re done with the aforementioned race to beat the biological clock, you can just date who you want, when you want, for as long as they are interesting to you. When you’re in your 40s, you know a lot more about the nature of sexual attraction Sure, you’re mature enough to think someone who might not be obviously attractive is worth investing some time in, but you also know that a guy who gives you a negative feeling – either physically or intellectually – is not someone you want to see again. You might come to realize that marriage is not for everyone I have plenty of happily married friends; but a couple of my closest friends compromised their happiness because they were afraid to be alone.
And since you are now a wise, mature adult (or better at acting the part), you know it’s not a big deal to cut a guy loose by telling him that you’re not feeling a click. On the other hand, you might feel a huge click with a guy who doesn’t share any of your interests But since you’re more mature and wise, you get that shared values and personality characteristics are more important than shared interests. Beware the newly-divorced You will hear a lot of people talk about snagging good catches when they’re leaving their first marriages. But remember that newly-divorced men come with a lot of baggage. They might not know how to take care of themselves, and they might have complicated custody issues that keep them from travelling. Single, independent, accomplished 40-year-olds know there’s nothing to fear in being alone. Even your feminist friends will treat your single state as a project they need to fix …and they will spend much creative energy trying to find you a match.
The number 40 has the power to lift a spiritual state.
Consider: When a person becomes ritually impure, he must immerse in a ritual bath, a mikveh.
He reaches the level of binah - the deeper insight of understanding one matter from another.
After Moses led the Jewish people for 40 years in the wilderness, he told them: "God has not given you a heart to know, and eyes to see, and ears to hear, until this day" (Deut. From here we see that it took the Jewish people 40 years before reaching a full level of understanding.
Or so Carrie Bradshaw would have you believe; and she is mostly right.
According to the Talmud, it takes 40 days for an embryo to be formed in its mother's womb.
In Kabbalah, 40 represents the four sides of the world, each side containing the ten Sefirot (esoteric powers).
We waited a long time to focus on settling down, and now we’re facing a somewhat distressing fact of life: Once you’re over 40, there is a diminished pool of men to choose from.
So we figured out – and accepted – that the right man does not magically appear when you’re ready for him.